youre either getting paid or getting played. take your pick.
in this lifetime
On May 12, 2011 at 4:27pm
the most interesting information is usually told in whispers.
On April 19, 2011 at 4:54am
On March 8, 2011 at 9:31pm
my fascination with emotionally invested passionate things..speeches, music, actions, videos..it creates some kind of tranquility within me that i can’t pinpoint.
today i was watching “image of the invisible” by thrice and i just can’t seem to get tired of this song. my thoughts went from “they’re the best thing to come out of irvine” to being compelled to look up the video and being completely fixated on every second and detail of the video. the hurt in the lead singer’s eyes, the transition from declaration and strength to damage and vulnerability, the bridge of soft whispers to the climactic buildup of the drums is..overwhelming. it’s an intercalating array of soft yet independent perspectives..an image of the invisible.
i want to be more than carbon and chemicals. i am lost and i am not found. i feel lost within myself, unsure of who i am, and how i am supposed to act and feel. i don’t know what i am looking for, and i’m not sure where my happiness lies.
why is it so difficult to be happy? and again i am left speechless.
v
this week has been pretty interesting. I’ve never been questioned so much more in one week than I have in this lifetime. Two heavy questions as well:
1. “How did you get into a top ten Ph.D. program?”
2. “How come you’re still single?”
From the bottom of my heart, these two queries have left me speechless.
I really can’t explain the nothingness inside of me.
v
questions.
On February 20, 2011 at 10:43pm
in something greater than the questions i ask. in unconditional love. in something eternal.
I WANT TO BELIEVE
On October 7, 2010 at 12:00pm
my head and heart are torn. what’s new.
feeling lost again.
On October 5, 2010 at 3:32am
patience, consistency, dedication. and not putting too much thought into it.
so far so good.
On September 30, 2010 at 4:06am
i didn’t know it was that easy. ignorance can be bliss.
not thinking about it.
On September 28, 2010 at 12:21pm
“
You can either make excuses, or get results..but you can’t do both.
thanks for the clarity of mind, Tom.
On September 21, 2010 at 4:05am
“some people can spend a lifetime trying to find themselves, or trying to find a cause for them that is worthy, you know, of their absolute best effort, of their sweat and their sacrifice, you know..i was fortunate enough to find that early. in so doing i found medication to help soothe my soul and my beaten spirit when other experiences in my life let me down and betrayed me.”
i wish you knew how you speak to me.
oh kai..
On September 14, 2010 at 5:34am
